You glance at the mirror and then you glance again. Perhaps you check a part of your face or body, look for a change, or look for reassurance, and the time goes. These six practices are for stepping away. They are optional, they do not judge how you look, and they do not assume why you are checking.
If you have a clinician’s plan for body checking, mirror use, wound checks or other monitoring, follow it rather than these suggestions. Do not skip necessary care or monitoring.
1. Notice the pull, and name it
When you feel the pull to look, you can say to yourself, “I am about to check.” Naming it is a small pause. You do not have to resist, and you do not have to obey. You can choose whether to look.
2. Feel your feet
Press your feet into the floor and notice where you are held. Grounding gives your attention somewhere steady that is not your reflection. It takes a few seconds and nobody needs to see it.
3. Look at the room
Let your eyes move round the room and rest on a few ordinary things: a window, a shelf, a plant. Orienting brings your attention to the space around you. If you like, name a few things quietly.
4. Move to another place
Step into another room, go outside or start a small task, such as putting the kettle on. Keep your eyes open and your attention on where you are. If you are not sure what to do, a slow walk can be enough.
5. Take a short pause, if you want one
For ordinary, nonessential checking, you may choose a short pause or another activity. If either checking or avoiding mirrors is distressing or taking over your day, ask a clinician for a plan rather than setting stricter rules yourself.
6. Speak kindly afterwards
If you looked and felt bad, you can say, “That was a hard look, and I am more than that image.” Let it be there, and then do something ordinary. You do not have to decide what you saw means.
Breath
You do not need to do anything with your breath. If you like, let one exhale out slowly, uncounted. Skip it if you are anxious, and stop if you feel dizzy. Ordinary breathing is the alternative.
What a mirror shows
A mirror shows one image, from one angle, in one light, and it can change with the lighting and how close you stand. It does not show what you can do, who you care about or how you treat people. You can treat a mirror as a tool for getting ready and not as a verdict.
Mirrors in different places
In gyms, shops and lifts you did not choose the mirror, and you can choose where to look. If a mirror is in a place where you exercise, you might choose a spot that faces away from it. For more on this, see gym mirrors and body image.
If checking takes a lot of time
If checking takes up a lot of your day, causes you distress, or stops you doing things you want to do, talk to a doctor or therapist. You can ask at any point, and you do not have to wait for it to get worse. The NHS eating disorders overview (https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/) lists spending a lot of time worrying about your weight and body shape among the symptoms, and says to see a GP, meaning your doctor, as soon as you can if you think you may have an eating disorder. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line or your local emergency number.
If the mirror is a phone
A front-facing camera or a screen that shows you to yourself works like a mirror. You can turn off the self-view on video calls, and put the phone down for a few minutes. If you notice yourself scrolling through photos of your own face or body, you can use the same pause: name it, feel your feet, look at the room.
Other ways to spend the minute
When you leave the mirror, you could drink some water, stretch, text a friend or write one line about something you did today. You do not need to make the minute meaningful. You only need to move your attention to something else.
Related: a daily somatic routine.
