A fitting room can be a small, bright box with a mirror, a pile of clothes and a lot of thoughts. A size does not fit, a seam pulls, and the next hour goes wrong. These five tools are for the fitting room. They are optional, they do not judge your body, and they are not diet or weight advice.
If you have a clinician’s plan for body image, meals, exercise, mirror use or medical monitoring, follow that plan first. These tools are not a reason to skip care, delay eating or make up for a meal. Choose a seated alternative to a walk if your activity plan does not allow it.
1. Plan the trip
Choose a time when the shop is quieter and you are rested. Wear something easy to take on and off. Bring a friend if that helps, or go alone if you prefer. Take a short list, and decide beforehand how many items to try. Plan something to do afterwards, such as a drink or a walk.
2. Feel your feet
In the cubicle, press your feet into the floor and notice where you are held. Grounding gives your attention somewhere steady. It takes a few seconds and nobody needs to see it. Keep your eyes open and look at the room as well.
3. Treat the label as information about the clothes
A size on a tag is a number a brand has chosen, and sizes vary between brands, shops and styles. If something does not fit, it tells you about the garment, and not about your worth. You can say, “This one is not cut for me,” and put it back. You can also bring another size or leave.
4. Look at the fit, not at the person
If you look in the mirror, ask a practical question: “Can I move in this? Is it comfortable? Do I like the colour?” Look at the garment, and then look away. You can use a quick body check to notice if you are tired or tense, and take a break if so.
5. Leave when you want to
You can walk out with nothing, or try just one thing. You do not have to explain to the assistant. You can come back another day, shop online, ask a friend to help or buy something to try at home if the return policy allows it. Leaving is a legitimate choice.
If the spiral starts
If you notice the thoughts speeding up, stop trying things on. Sit down, sip some water, and look at something ordinary in the cubicle. Say to yourself, “This is a hard moment, not a verdict.” You can step out of the cubicle and walk round the shop for a minute.
Breath
You do not need to do anything with your breath. If you like, let one exhale out slowly, uncounted. Skip it if you are anxious, and stop if you feel dizzy. Ordinary breathing is the alternative.
Practical ideas
- Shop for clothes that suit what you do each day.
- Try them on in the shop only if you want to.
- Check the return policy before you buy.
- Choose fabrics and cuts that are comfortable to move in.
- Bring a bag for the clothes you try, so that you can change in your own time.
- Eat and drink something beforehand, so that you are not trying things on while hungry or thirsty.
When it is more than a hard shopping trip
If worries about your weight or shape take up a lot of your time, or if you avoid eating, going out or seeing people because of them, talk to a doctor or therapist. The NHS eating disorders overview (https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/eating-disorders/overview/) says to see a GP, meaning your doctor, as soon as you can if you think you may have an eating disorder. You can ask for help now. If you have a meal plan, medicine or monitoring from a clinician, keep to it. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line or your local emergency number.
If you are buying for an event
If there is a date or a deadline, give yourself more than one chance. You can look in a few shops, order a couple of options online and keep what suits, and ask a friend whether they would like to help. A deadline can add pressure, and you can lower it by planning a back-up option.
After the trip
Put the bags down, have a drink and do something ordinary. If the day went badly, you could write one line about what happened and close the page. For another angle, practices for kindness toward the aging body covers kindness toward the body over time.
Related: gym mirrors and body image.
