Regret can feel like heaviness or a wince in the body, with an “if only” on loop. You cannot change what happened. These seven practices are for the hours when the replay gets loud.
1. Let the wince happen
Regret often arrives as a physical wince – shoulders up, face tight, breath held. Instead of snapping out of it, let the wince complete: shoulders up, hold, then drop.
2. Locate where the regret lives today
The event is in the past, but the regret is happening now, somewhere specific: chest, throat, stomach. Find it and describe it plainly – weight, temperature, edges. Tracking the sensation is one way to notice it.
3. One slow breath per replay
When the mind replays, you can answer with one long, deliberate exhale. Stop if you feel dizzy.
4. Give the grief underneath some room
Sometimes there is grief under regret, for what you lost or what could have been. Put a hand on your chest and let yourself say one sentence about it, such as “I wish it had gone differently.” Stay for a minute, then do something ordinary like making tea. If it feels like too much, stop and talk to someone. Gentle somatic support for grief goes deeper if this is your terrain.
5. Walk it through the body
Go for a slow walk, even ten minutes. Notice your feet meeting the ground, the air on your face and the rhythm of your steps. Somatic walking is not about escaping the feeling; it is a way to be with it while moving. Choose a pace and route that suit your health and keep you safe.
6. Note anything you can act on
Sometimes regret points to something you could do, such as apologise or speak up. If so, write it down in one line.
7. Practice the same kindness you would offer a friend
If a friend told you this story, you would probably not say “yes, you are irredeemable.” Place a hand where the regret sits and offer yourself one sentence of that same ordinary kindness. It may feel mechanical at first.
If regret is consuming you
If regret loops for months, disturbs your sleep, or arrives with depression, please bring it to a therapist. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line or your local emergency number.
