“Thanks – oh, it was nothing, really.” If compliments bounce off you, you are not alone. These five practices help you actually let it in.
1. Notice the deflect reflex as it fires
The compliment lands, and within a second something in you moves – a squirm in the chest, heat in the face, the mouth already forming “it was nothing.” That movement is the practice ground. See if you can catch it once.
2. Buy two seconds with your feet
Before responding, press your feet into the floor and take one breath. Grounding gives you a short pause, and in that pause you can say “thank you.”
3. Let the warmth register where it lands
Instead of arguing with the compliment, locate its physical echo: a small warmth in the chest, a softening in the face. Stay with it for three breaths. Tracking a pleasant sensation is a way to let a compliment land. If nothing comes up, that is fine.
4. Say thank you and stop talking
Practice the two-word complete sentence: “Thank you.” No discount, no instant counter-compliment, no explanation of why it was easy. If you feel the urge to keep talking, take a breath and let the silence be.
5. Ask what the squirm is protecting
Later, with a hand on your chest, get curious: what feels risky about being seen as good? A few lines of journaling can help you put words to it.
A note on giving, too
Watch how others receive your compliments. When someone deflects your praise, you may recognise your own habit. Next time your mouth starts forming “it was nothing,” try “thank you” instead.
If receiving feels truly unsafe
If praise reliably triggers anxiety or suspicion rather than pleasure, it may be worth exploring with a therapist. Difficulty receiving compliments is common.
Related: somatic resourcing – building the capacity to take in good experiences.
