Things are hard, and you feel little, or you feel far from yourself, as if someone turned the volume down. Numbness can be uncomfortable, and it can also feel like nothing at all. These six practices are small, gentle and optional. They do not aim to make you feel something, and they do not assume what the numbness means or what caused it.
Different kinds of numb
Emotional numbness is one thing. Physical numbness, such as losing feeling in your face, arms or legs, is another. If numbness in your face, arm or leg comes on suddenly, especially with a drooping face, a weak arm, slurred speech or confusion, call your local emergency number straight away. If it keeps coming back or does not go away, see a doctor. Do not put it down to stress.
1. Start with what is easy to notice
Skip your inner world for a moment and start outside. Look at the room: colours, light, shapes. Orienting means letting your eyes move around and rest on things. You can name a few quietly: “blue mug, window, plant.” You are not trying to feel anything, only to be in the room.
2. Notice contact
Notice where your body touches the chair, the floor or the bed. Let your feet press into the floor, and notice what that is like, or that you cannot tell. Grounding can be as small as that. If you feel nothing, that is a fine thing to notice.
3. Add warmth or texture
Hold a warm mug, wrap a blanket round your shoulders, or run your hands under water of a comfortable temperature. Keep it ordinary and safe. Notice the temperature or the texture, as far as you can. You may notice a lot or a little, and either is allowed.
4. Move a little
A slow walk, some stretching or a few easy arm circles can be enough. Keep your eyes open and stay aware of where you are. Stop if anything hurts, and rest if you are very tired.
5. Keep company
You can sit near someone, call a friend or put on a familiar voice. You do not have to talk about the numbness. Co-regulation is the idea of settling alongside another person, and it can be as simple as being in the same room.
6. Do small, ordinary care
Eat something, drink water, wash your face, go to bed at a reasonable time. Care of this kind does not require feeling anything. It keeps the basics going while you wait to see what happens.
What not to do
You do not need to force feelings, watch sad films to make yourself cry, or push yourself through intense experiences to wake up. If a practice makes the numbness worse, or makes you feel more detached or distressed, stop it and do something ordinary, such as looking at the room or talking to someone nearby.
When to ask for help
If numbness lasts, if you feel detached from your life, or if it comes with low mood, hopelessness, or difficulty with daily tasks, see a doctor or therapist. You can ask at any point, and you do not have to prove that it is bad enough. Do not stop or change a prescribed medicine without medical advice. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, or if you feel unable to keep yourself safe, contact a crisis line or your local emergency number now.
Numbness after something hard
After a shock, loss or very stressful time, you may feel flat and not know why. You do not have to explain it to anyone. Take things at a pace you can manage, keep to your routine, and let people close to you know that you are having a hard time. If you want to write, a few written lines can be a way to say what is true today, even if what is true is “nothing.”
If a practice is too much
Some of the steps above may feel like too much on a given day. You can do less. Looking at one object for a few seconds is a complete practice. If you want to stop, stop, and do something ordinary instead.
A note for friends and family
If someone you know is numb, there is no need to push them to feel. You can offer a cup of tea, a walk or company. You can say, “I am here, and there is no need to talk.” Let them lead.
Related: a daily somatic routine.
