Five essential steps towards lasting change

Often in our lives we recognise that we have to change something. Or… actually sometimes we are not even sure yet if we have to change something, but we feel some dissatisfaction or pain in a particular moment or situation in our life. In order to be more at peace however we usually have to change something. That does not have to be a big change, as in changing partner or job or moving places. No, it might also mean change our perception, our opinion of the situation, which can be more powerful than actually switching in a tangible way. Anyway, change needs understanding and courage and usually doesn’t come overnight. So here are five steps that can help you analysing a situation and help you change:

1. Understanding: First of all gain deep understanding of the situation you are in, understand how it creates you pain or suffering. Look at the emotion from different angles and do not blame anyone else, look at your own role in it, see where you are at and where you want to go
2. Conviction: Developing the strong feeling that you need a way out of where you are at. Develping the urge to change the situation, seeing that it is not a health state of mind or body or work or relationship that you are in
3. Determination: Make a strong will to change for the better until it is how you want it. Promise yourself not to give up easily if your first try doesn’t work out or if the change appears difficult or if people around you try to stop you from changing (that will happen!). In other words: prepare for a difficult and hard struggle. Don’t expect it to be easy. In a way also you are developing patience here. Being patient with the situation and the process of change. Look at the process in a way by realising how much you can learn from it also and how it will make you stronger over time.
4. Action: Once you have developed a deep understanding of your situation and conviction and determination to change write your plan to action. Don’t go with the first thing that comes up in your mind. Think of more ways to ‘tackle’ the situation or emotion and after reflecting thoroughly go with one and use the other ones as back up or alternatives, and maybe you don’t need them.
5. Effort: This is very similar to determination and involves the same quality once you have entered into the ‘action’ state. So keep on going, even if you have chagned that particular situation or that particular emotion in that particular situation, be prepared for it to reappear again 🙂 And i am not encouraging you here to be pessimistic but rather realistic. You can be realistic and prepared but in a positive and happy way. Instead of feeling sad or depressed or anxious just smile if you recognise a difficult moment coming up again and thinking ‘ah there you are again, i know this, no problem’ and smile and go about the situation mindfully and with wisdom.

If you like this would love to hear your opinion in comments.

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